


Cocoon

by citizen101erased



Series: Dan & Phil drabbles [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Mental Health Issues, Multi, gen - Freeform, there's cuddles but nothing more explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-12 00:39:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15983900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citizen101erased/pseuds/citizen101erased
Summary: Dan has a depressive episode at night. Phil is there.





	Cocoon

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick drabble I wrote in the middle of the night. I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing, and figured channeling my own depressive episode into a fic of some sort might help.

It’s hard sometimes. Those nights where he knows he should’ve been in bed hours ago but somehow he’s still up, still online, fingers hovering over the keyboard of his laptop, drawing up yet another tweet he already knows he’s going to delete the draft of before ever posting it online. That temptation to just keep screaming into the abyss and hope someone hears him, but knowing full well there are millions of people waiting and hearing him wrong and twisting his words.

Phil turns around in the bed, waking up just enough to drowsily ask Dan why he’s still awake but falling back asleep before he can answer.

Dan really, really tries not to blame him. Phil is tired, they all are. Tour is exhausting. At the end of the day, they didn’t call it ‘interactive introverts’ for no reason. They are introverts, they usually have much more time to themselves. He knows it’s the depression talking, but he can’t help but feel lonely, left by himself, no one to talk to. It’s the middle of the night in Vancouver and his brain just won’t shut up and he feels alone and like the darkness surrounding him is inside him, taking him over, blocking out all the warmth and light.

He thinks about waking Phil up anyway. He could use the company, someone to talk to. And Phil always says Dan can come talk to him whenever he needs it. His therapist encouraged it, too.

But maybe better not, they need more sleep. Dan should be asleep, too. There’s a full day ahead of them tomorrow, he should be more awake for it. At the very least, if Phil is more well rested he can maybe take some of the load off of Dan. Then again, that’s a bit unfair, isn’t it? Just because Dan can’t sleep, can’t take care of himself, is too weak - 

His thoughts are disrupted when a hand flaps around in front of his laptop before landing on Dan’s arm. Dan looks over and sees Phil is awake now. He’s squinting up at Dan.    
  
‘Are you ok?’ he mumbles, stifling down a yawn. Dan feels a wave of guilt. This is his fault, if he had just put his laptop away Phil wouldn’t be awake now. He can feel his breathing quickening, the push of tears in his eyes that just won’t fall.

Phil sits up now, frowning. He’s still looking straight at Dan, searching his face. His usually bright blue eyes look darker, and Dan can see the shadows under his eyes in the blue light of his laptop. The guilty feeling gets stronger, and there’s a twist in his stomach now.

‘Dan, what’s going on?’  Dan finds he doesn’t know how to find the words, how to say them. So he decides to just shake his head. It’s enough for Phil to understand anyway, they’ve known each other long enough. He feels Phil’s arm wrap around his shoulders, his other arm closing the laptop and taking it away from Dan. He leans over Dan to put the laptop on the bedside table, his weight and body warmth strangely reassuring to Dan. He wraps his arms around Phil, burying his nose in Phil’s neck.

They stay like that for a little while, just breathing and holding each other, until Phil laughs softly.

‘Dan, you know I’ll do anything for you, but it’d be so much more comfortable if we’d just lie down properly.’ Dan nods, and let’s go reluctantly. 

‘Do you want to talk about this?’ Phil asks, his voice full of concern, as he wriggles down. He tugs on Dan’s arm to pull him down as well.    
  


Dan looks at him again when their faces are back on the same level, lying down on the pillow.

‘Nah. Just need sleep, I think.’ Phil just nods. He wraps his arms around Dan, pulling him closer. Dan goes back to burying his face into Phil’s shoulder. It’s going to be uncomfortable soon, their arms will sleep and be all numb and their bodies will get kind of gross and sticky, and he’s going to have to breathe actual oxygen at some point, but right now Dan feels a lot more safe and secure than before and he’s going to enjoy it for as long as he can. He takes a deep breath. The scent of Phil - a whiff of shampoo, toothpaste, and something indefinably   _ him  _ \- fills his nose.

There will always be nights like this. There are days where he doesn’t want to get out of bed at all. There are days where Phil is so anxious about some simple social routine that Dan solves it for him instead. They’re introverts who go out to face this strange, big world every day. Things are hard sometimes. That won’t change.

But right now, here, in this quiet cocoon of Phil, a little bit of home surrounding him in a different part of the globe, he starts to feel his muscles relax. He can finally sleep.


End file.
